Much of what I have been working on as far as writing and stand up comedy, ties directly into past experiences. Sure I twist them until they suit my needs, but typically there is some shred of truth left somewhere. So today, I present you with the original version of a story, that this week I altered for more immediate comedy needs...
Back in High School, I had a friend named Scott. He was one of those guys that was entertaining to hang out with, but was just crazy enough that you could run a death pool for. I actually wonder if he's still around, though it wouldn't surprise me if he passed away years ago. On the off chance he stumbles on this, he should be happy I left his last name out so the search engines will never find it.
There was a wonderful period of time (taste that sarcasm) during which he was dating one of my sisters. Which in itself was bad enough. To make matters worse, he was too embarrassed to buy condoms. So lucky me, I had to step up. As fate, or his poor planning, would have it we were at the mall. We would make a trip there pretty much daily to grab cigarettes from the CVS or visit the arcade. $3.00 each for Marlboro soft packs would be where my lunch money went senior year. Outside CVS is where he gave me money to buy the condoms and waited outside for me. I went in, made the purchase, and before I even made it out of the store I turned the whole thing into a spectacle. I raised up the condom box and cried out "Here's your condoms Scott!" My voice traveling down the mall in both directions.
He never asked me to do that favor again.
